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Subject:[Microblogging] Pixelmon GO
Time:09:03 am


April Fool's is a disappointing time of year, because this is when companies unveil neat whimsical stuff just to get your hopes up even though it's probably all going away again tomorrow.

Niantic please let us keep this mode, I'm begging you.

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from https://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/414412.html. Please leave all comments there; I am no longer actively maintaining my LiveJournal blogs.
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Subject:[Microblogging] BULBAGEDDON
Time:02:14 pm




Yeah, I like this Community Day thing.

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from https://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/413940.html. Please leave all comments there; I am no longer actively maintaining my LiveJournal blogs.
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Subject:[Microblogging] Happy belated dragon day
Time:11:41 am




So yesterday's Dratini-themed Community Day event went pretty well. *cough*

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from https://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/413137.html.
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Subject:[Microblogging] COUGH COUGH OH GOD
Time:02:12 pm
Things I have learned today:

Ammonia is a super noxious chemical. Like, as far as cleaners go it's one of those ones you only use in a very well ventilated area and try not to breathe it.

Just because Target sells what they proudly advertise as lemon-scented ammonia does not make it fucking Lemon Pledge. DO NOT TREAT IT AS SUCH.

I think my nose is still deaf and [personal profile] xyzzysqrl you no longer have the worst ideas/survival instincts/"wait how is it I'm actually an adult again" stories this month.

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from https://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/412653.html.
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Subject:Dream log: Ain't no rule that says a dog can't prosletyze
Time:10:41 am
I don't ordinarily blog my dreams, because 1) I don't ordinarily have dreams that I can consciously recall, and 2) most of the ones that slip through aren't all that interesting anyway.

This one was cute, though.

Read more...Collapse )

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from https://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/411535.html.
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Subject:[Microblogging] Challenge Accepted
Time:10:03 pm


e621 tags: size_difference

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from https://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/408700.html.
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Subject:2017 in review: We thrive at the end of the world
Time:08:25 pm
(Subtitle is a lyric taken from a song from an upcoming album I'm working on. Details within.)

The year is drawing to a close, and that's... good? I think? There were a lot of ups and downs, but the world is kind of still in the middle of a major storm right now, and I'm okay with being one year closer to everything hopefully passing. Still, I had some great times, some major accomplishments, and some lovely memories with all of you in spite of it all.

Review time! In which Celine gets super long-winded and gives a Care Bear-esque feelings speech. In other words, your typical Celine post.Collapse )

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from https://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/407470.html.
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Subject:[Microblogging] (Jingle Bells intensifies)
Time:08:42 am


MERRY CHRISTMAS!

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from https://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/406523.html.
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Subject:[Microblogging] We’re sorry, the item below is no longer available.
Time:02:08 pm
Why is online shopping a ruthless hellscape where people can snipe the very last item directly from your cart if you don't finalize and submit the order fast enough?

Why do we live in a world where "Fuck, LastPass took too long to work and fill out the password confirmation screen, I'm probably going to lose it now" is a thing?

I swear to Arceus, if I go through the whole process of add to cart --> checkout --> password (again) --> enter billing info --> enter shipping info --> review everything --> submit --> "ERROR we removed one of your items from your cart because it's now out of stock, also you can't check out because your cart is empty" one more time....

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from https://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/406125.html.
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Subject:Closer Look: Adventure of Sam
Time:08:21 pm
I did a thing for The Museum of ZZT.

Behold, a special guest Closer Look at my ancient and awful teenage newbie game, Adventure of Sam.

Because it makes references to other games and articles, here are those as well if you want the context (these were all written by Dr. Dos, not me):

Closer Look: Virus 302 Special Edition
Closer Look: School ZZT
Closer Look: Sewers of ZZT

All right, so this... hurt a little. Everyone gets that "Ugh my old work is so awful and embarrassing" reaction. I never actually learned how to cope with mine, though, and so my past these days is more redacted than a CIA document. I wasn't kidding during that part when I said I almost just let this one stay hidden forever. But... well. Dos is right.

Also, this is... strangely liberating? It was uncomfortable to confront all of this, but there's a certain get it off my chest feeling now that I have. I feel like I've just been to Confession. It's weird. You should try it, especially if it's a ZZT game. It's fascinating, and you're helping the Museum too. (And I just happen to have all of a certain someone's *VERY* Mysterious games in my old ZZT folder, still. Just, you know, saying. This is what happens when you're friends with a literal packrat.)

Anyway, to everyone with whom I've had the "Geez Celine, you've always been such a sweetie as long as I've known you" "You didn't see me before...." discussion... I told you.

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from https://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/404364.html.
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Subject:[Microblogging] Dux in a row
Time:05:15 pm


Considering that Farfy has always been one of my favorites, and that this is a special event reward where the normally Japan-only fellow is available worldwide for a super limited time only, of course I've been searching for one all day. And, at last, success!

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from https://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/403594.html.
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Subject:[Microblogging] Favorite Pokemon of each type
Time:08:53 pm


I posted this on Twitter back when I still used Twitter, but I just needed to reference it again in a Dreamwidth comment, so I figured this would be a good time to mirror it. Part of the whole "no more Twitter" project and all.

This version has a few slight updates from the old Twitter post. A couple Pokemon (Entei, Glaceon) were added because my SoulSilver playthrough either reminded me of or introduced me to the concept of how awesome they are, and another (Decidueye) is because there just weren't enough Grass types.

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from https://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/402120.html.
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Subject:[Microblogging] Today's adventures in being outside
Time:01:05 pm
*Approaches street corner where the nearby Pokemon Go gym is, because it's there and vulnerable*

*What appears to be the tail end of a police chase ensues; a car comes spilling out of that intersection and the immediately pulls over, flanked by four or five police cars who do the same. Sirens are blaring. One officer gets out of his car, draws and points his weapon at the non-officer car, and starts barking orders at its driver*

Me: O_O



You know, now that I really stop and think about it, maybe I didn't need the extra coins and gym experience that badly.

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from https://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/400652.html.
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Subject:[Microblogging] It begins
Time:12:52 pm
[personal profile] xyzzysqrl recently did a thing about how it's nice to have a dumping ground for short little single-screenshot three-sentence reactions to things, but that Twitter is horrible and worth fleeing with all urgency.

Later that same day I tweeted a dumb little Pokemon Go thing, despite my actual therapist I was actually seeing for actual anxiety/panic attack issues actually telling me that step 1 toward recovery is to stay the fuck off Twitter. I am guilty of having this same problem, as it turns out.

So, in the interest of not being a massive hypocrite after I'd advised my good blogmog friend to bring that stuff here, maybe I too should just use Dreamwidth for my little bite-sized reactions. On one hand, uploading screenshots is a bit more of a process over here, but on the other I would no longer have to edit down if I have a four sentence reaction that's 15 characters too long to fit in a tweet.

So, I'm going to at least try it here and see how it goes, tagged with "microblogging" both in the tags and in the post title. I don't do this nearly as often (before last night's Pokemon Go thing, the last original non-retweet tweet I made was two weeks ago,) but if you don't want even that much extra junk on your reading page, you can... uh... can you blacklist tags? Maybe? Is that a thing people can do?

Anyway.

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from https://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/400469.html.
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Subject:Pokemon SoulSilver Part 10: Swapping finintude and love for diamonds
Time:08:37 pm
Last time: We sequence broke past Goldenrod City a little, then went back and beat Goldenrod City.

Onward to post-Goldenrod content for real this time!Collapse )

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from https://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/399364.html.
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Subject:Let me explain you a thing
Time:07:49 am
Those who know me know I, uh, kind of have a problem with overexplaining things. It's just something I enjoy doing, and the impulse is very hard to control. You may have noticed my SoulSilver LP is on track to be like eight hundred thousand words or more by the time it finishes, and probably at least some of that is due to occasional "For those of you who have never played a Pokemon game before, you throw a ball and there's a certain percent chance depending on...." asides. But trust me, I promise you, what you're seeing now was after I went back and cut out as many of those as I could stand before it became almost physically painful to cut anymore. You should have seen the rough draft.

That being said, last night I had a dream where I was on a team-based game show that looked like some sort of Knightmare/Crystal Maze/Laser tag crossover; teams put on special vests, entered the maze, and then presumably stuff happened. I'd apparently seen this show zillions of times before and knew the procedure by heart, but for whatever reason, our team getting our usual orientation like we were supopsed to. I kind of had to take over that role instead, and the rest of the dream devolved into, "Guys, I know no one said anything but we're actually supposed to all file into this room first to get the mission briefing before we start. It's like an out of the way broom closet I know but the secret door is right here. Guys, no. Guys, you can't enter the main hall yet, you don't even have your VESTS. GUYS."

I'm pretty sure that dreams like this are a sign that the problem is more serious than I thought.

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from http://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/398403.html.
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Subject:Because I'm a sentimental doof
Time:08:29 pm
We briefly interrupt your not-really-regularly scheduled gameblogging because this is still my all-purpose journal and sometimes I write about life stuff too. I mean very very rarely, but it can theoretically happen! This DW is still like 95% games and I'll Poke more Mons as soon as I can, don't worry.

So, I have this plush snake, Snakey. I've had him literally since I can remember (you can tell I was young when I got him because his name is Snakey) to the point where I don't even remember where he came from--as far back as my memory goes, he's just always been there. Between seeing The Brave Little Toaster way too many times as an impressionable child and growing up into someone whose fursona is a literal packrat, suffice it to say that childhood things like Snakey are very, very important to me. To the point that I've commemorated him in a couple of my commissions here and there--that's him in the icon for this post, for example. And here he is IRL after being repaired and restored with fixed seams/more stuffing/new felt eyes and mouth/etc. as a Christmas present in 2013, which was one of the most special, meaningful presents I've ever received.

Today, I happened to get curious about where did he come from, since I couldn't remember, so I asked my mom. It turns out that he was originally a Christmas present from my grandfather to my mom, when she was around 10 or 12. My grandparents had the foresight to hang onto things like that in case grandkids ever happened, and I ended up inheriting him.

I don't have much of a point to this entry, I guess (this is one of those things you write under the "I can dump whatever's in my head because it's my journal" excuse) but I'm just... wow, Snakey is, like, fifty. I had no idea he had so much history, you know? Toy Story 3 fucked me up hard and now I've just kind of been sitting here Feeling Things all day.

I'm gonna hug him so much (gently though!) tonight.

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from http://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/398000.html.
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Subject:Chatlog adventures with woodrat and sqrlmog
Time:07:59 am
[personal profile] xyzzysqrl is a precious gift and every conversation with her is an adventure.

Celine Kalante:
http://voidseapickle.tumblr.com/post/162203601001/tiergan-vashir-fttarlach-bioandrunaway

XyzzySqrl:
Yeah uhm.

Notice that tiger also has a dorsal ridge?

I can't explain Eorzean wildlife.

Celine Kalante:
... Eorzea is weird.

XyzzySqrl:
Tigersaurus.

Celine Kalante:
Beefy Tigersaurus.

I think there were a couple of those in Zootopia.

XyzzySqrl:
Beefy Tigersaurus is my favorite discontinued Chef Boyardee line.

Celine Kalante:
Beefy Tigersaurus was around when Power Rangers started to get weird.

XyzzySqrl:
oh god

BEEF-Y TIGER-SAUR-USSSSSS
*nyow-NYOOWWW-nyow-nyownyow*
BEEFY TIGERSAURUSSSSS
IT'S A BIG OL' RIPPED OUT TIGER SAUR-UUHHHUUSSS

Celine Kalante:
I would still be watching that show RIGHT NOW if it did that and you know it.

Also thank you for getting that stuck in my head forever.

XyzzySqrl:
I mean... yeah. Yeah, basically.

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from http://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/395370.html.
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Subject:Team Hatoful reads A Bird Story FINALE: If I Leave Here Tomorrow
Time:01:41 pm


Team Hatoful members Celine (Kjorteo), [personal profile] davidn, and Elijah play and read through A Bird Story by Freebird Games!

http://freebirdgames.com/
https://freebirdgames.bandcamp.com/

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from http://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/393858.html.
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Subject:Team Hatoful reads A Bird Story, part 5: Turbulence
Time:11:56 am


Team Hatoful members Celine (Kjorteo), [personal profile] davidn, and Elijah play and read through A Bird Story by Freebird Games!

http://freebirdgames.com/
https://freebirdgames.bandcamp.com/

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from http://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/393710.html.
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Subject:Work in progress
Time:07:44 pm
Well this got long and mopey.Collapse )

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from http://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/393389.html.
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Subject:Team Hatoful reads A Bird Story, part 4: Special Somebirdy
Time:09:09 pm


Team Hatoful members Celine (Kjorteo), [personal profile] davidn, and Elijah play and read through A Bird Story by Freebird Games!

http://freebirdgames.com/
https://freebirdgames.bandcamp.com/

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from http://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/393189.html.
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Subject:Team Hatoful reads A Bird Story, part 3: Animal Husbandry
Time:07:58 pm


Team Hatoful members Celine (Kjorteo), [personal profile] davidn, and Elijah play and read through A Bird Story by Freebird Games!

http://freebirdgames.com/
https://freebirdgames.bandcamp.com/

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from http://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/392903.html.
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Subject:Team Hatoful reads A Bird Story, part 2: A Boy and His Bird
Time:06:47 pm


Team Hatoful members Celine (Kjorteo), [personal profile] davidn, and Elijah play and read through A Bird Story by Freebird Games!

http://freebirdgames.com/
https://freebirdgames.bandcamp.com/

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from http://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/392574.html.
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Subject:Team Hatoful reads A Bird Story, part 1: Dreams and Dentistry
Time:02:34 pm


Team Hatoful members Celine (Kjorteo), [personal profile] davidn, and Elijah play and read through A Bird Story by Freebird Games!

http://freebirdgames.com/
https://freebirdgames.bandcamp.com/

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from http://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/392401.html.
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Subject:Random vocabulary questions
Time:08:32 pm
Because apparently people are actually using Dreamwidth now that we're all here. And I'm a writer. And I have a couple situations where the word I always use for them is wrong, but these are situations that come up a lot and it'd be really nice to have a word for them. Maybe you can help!

1) Basically the mood of this icon. Been dealing with too much for too long, at wits' end. The full context of the panel this crop is from: King Koopa and Lemmy are having a "Are you sure you know where this water main is?" conversation, the exact dialogue is responding to the previous panel's assurances with "You said that the last ten times!" (Lemmy in the background: "But since I've blown away all the other sections, this has to be it! I'll use four bombs on this one!") I originally entitled this icon "Exasperation" but later found that implies more annoyance and irritation over whatever they'll apparently never stop having to deal with, whereas I'm looking for more of a vague stressed "oh God" reaction.

2) My Splice post reminded me of this, because its later levels definitely induced it in me and that was one of the problems I had with that game. Is there a word for when there's just too much to process on the screen at once and you get overwhelmed? Think Tohou-style bullet hell games or those impossibly fast endgame DDR songs. "I can't play that game; once it get to the point where there were hundreds of arrows on the screen I just get _____ and kind of go o_o and my brain shuts down." I'm used to saying snow-blind but that's clearly wrong. Other metaphors/references like that welcome, if there's a good one.

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from http://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/392004.html.
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Subject:Gameblogging!
Time:10:51 am
When I moved from LiveJournal to Dreamwidth, I expected it to be the same thing but just in a different location because I wanted to make a point about which organization I supported. Instead, even without expanding my friend circle and adding too many random people just yet, Dreamwidth's end-user activity feels more alive than LiveJournal's had for the past several years. Granted, LJ still has artists_beware and the furry drama communities, but its communities (and maybe George R. R. Martin posts) were the only things in my feed. Here, my actual friends are making actual posts in their actual personal blogs! I was not expecting this, but I am delighted.

And not all, but admittedly most of that is because [personal profile] xyzzysqrl seems to have somehow kicked off a gameblogging movement which is spreading from her friend circle to mine. She regularly posts record-keeping book report-style entries when she finishes or officially abandons games, and her journal is therefore full of those. Very fun to read, I always enjoy her commentary on everything.

I, of course, blatantly stole this idea and that's what you'll find on the vast majority (again, not all, but most) of my blog now. I love it, for several reasons. I'm actively writing posts again, and I feel good about doing my part to support this whole local "hey Dreamwidth actually seems to have a pulse so far" thing. I also just like talking about stuff I've been playing, it helps me keep track of which games I beat when and in what order (if I ever get curious about that,) and the "okay but if I finish this I can write it up and then it's off the list" incentive is already doing more than I ever dreamed it would to help me tackle my backlog.

Other Sqrl friends such as [personal profile] swordianmaster and probably a couple others I'm forgetting/am not familiar with are getting in on the act as well! Definitely worth checking out if you just can't get enough gameblogging. Even [personal profile] xaq_the_aereon posted a few updates as he was going through a Random+ AM2R run, though I'm not sure if that was just a special occasion.

[personal profile] davidn hasn't adopted this movement in general, but he did just do an amazing multi-part Let's Play of The Colonel's Bequest that I highly recommend. I'd been looking forward to someone doing that for ages, and it was everything I dreamed.

And if Sqrl's regular gameblogging wasn't enough, she also dips into the extended play runs with an already-impressive and still-growing collection of Nancy Drew titles, including a run of Danger on Deception Island she just started. Please check those out as well.

So in conclusion... uh. Well, to be honest, I started this post because I really owed David a plug for finally doing Colonel's Bequest for me :) but there's just so much gameblogging and therefore so much life in Dreamwidth so far that I really had to take a step back and celebrate the whole thing while I was at it.

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from http://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/391617.html.
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Subject:Keedot commission + gender stuff
Time:09:09 pm
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Subject:I guess I'm fandom trash now
Time:09:41 pm
Someone please explain to me why I've spent the better part of this week painstakingly designing (and sometimes kicking ideas around and co-designing) Mega Man X fangame bosses.

I mean, I know why; I was made aware of the existence of Mega Man X Corrupted, and the boss list (click "Villians") seemed like kind of a letdown to me. Subsequent conversation about it with [personal profile] xyzzysqrl led me down the road of "okay but what kind of bosses would I like to see in my theoretical game" and my imagination sort of took off from there.

But why.

Like, obviously I don't know the first thing about actual game creation and I'm not going to learn an entirely new medium and start a years-long creative endeavor just for a Mega Man X fan game. I knew that this wasn't going anywhere even as I started brainstorming. And yet I somehow wound up with a full roster of eight bosses, including how their weapons work, the full loop of which ones are weak to which weapons, and even some stage and boss battle ideas and their character backstories, the beginnings of an overall plot (needs work obviously) and a couple endings....

Apparently I don't have enough for my imagination to do while I'm at work, nor do I have enough to do with any of the actual stories I'm supposed to be working on.

The life of a... me, I guess. (In my defense, the ideas we came up with are pretty cool at least.)

Also, six of the eight bosses started off as a conversational IM wisecracks like "So what would a bird be weak against, anyway?" "... Windows?" "Ha, ha. Smartass. ... Wait. Shit. Make it mirrors and this could actually work...." And seven of them are still better furbait than most of MMXC.

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from http://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/389310.html.
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Subject:Dusting off Dreamwidth + old shame
Time:06:51 pm
I'm going to start using this thing again more after LiveJournal went... uh. Well, you know.

While I was fussing with all that, I went back and found some of my very first LiveJournal entries. I still have all my entries, but I banished the really old ones to the private-only Shadow Realm ages ago.

"But Celine, why would you do that?"

Because.

Anyway, apologies for any post floods that may happen over the next few days; I'm not exactly sure how the importing feature works as I haven't done it since like 2013. Eager to make this place my home once more, though!

This is a cross-posted entry that originated from http://kjorteo.dreamwidth.org/336772.html.
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Subject:LJ 18th anniversary (just in time to move)
Time:06:28 pm
( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )
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Subject:Gender stuff update
Time:09:40 pm
I've been thinking about this particular milestone for a while now, and the big announcement and everything that would come with it, but now here we are and I feel like half of it I've been leaking out for months already and I have no idea what to say about the other half.

But hey, the theme of today has been "HERE WE GO I GUESS" so what's one more thing for that pile?

I started using the name "Celine" experimentally sometime ago--just around one or two of my closest friends at first, to see how it felt and if I liked it and wanted to stick with it. Then a few more friends, then a chatroom or two, then I gave in and quietly changed my account display name on various sites. There was never an announcement; I just sort of did it. So, on one hand, I never really told anyone I'm Celine now. On the other, I told everyone that ages ago. Oh, well. May as well make it official while we're here anyway, I guess.

I'm thinking my full name will be Celine Kalante Love [RL last name]. It actually works on several personally meaningful levels for me at once:

  • Celine is just a pretty name and I like the sound of it. (It technically comes from Celine Jules because I am a complete dork, but not out of any particularly strong attachment to the actual character--again, I just thought she had a really pretty name.)
  • Now I can join the prestigious Authors With Four Names club alongside J. R. R. Tolkien and grrm.
  • I have zillions of options for how to arrange my name--I could be Celine Kalante, Celine Love, or even C.K. Love (which is almost one of those pun names) and that's before I even consider adding the RL last name to the mix. Heck, I could even alternate between them as author pseudonyms, like maybe Celine Kalante is my respectable published novel persona while C.K. Love writes all the weird porn or something.
  • Back in my embarrassing edgy teen phase, when I was hanging out on Usenet groups and whatnot, I used to be known as ChocoboKick, then ChocoboKick Lowe. Not that I ever would want to be that person again, but I'm nostalgic/sentimental enough that reclaiming the CKL initials as a callback reference would be kind of nice. And Love instead of Lowe because I'm a nicer person these days and it sounds nice. <3

I'm still keeping the Kjorteo username. It's too deeply ingrained. My website and email have been kjorteo.net for the better part of two decades, it's also my username/account name on everything, and it's unique enough that I never have to worry about it being taken. I see the username as different from my name, though, if that makes sense. Like, on Telegram I'm Celine Kalante (@kjorteo). Same setup on Twitter. That seems like a good way to handle it, and also like an appropriate symbol of how I see those names in my entire life at this point.

The other major development is that... well... today I just got back from filling my first prescription for estradiol. I'll take the first one tomorrow morning, and proceed regularly from there. That's why I actually wrote this entry; I always told myself that if I actually started on HRT, that would be my this is it, this is actually happening cue and I'd announce everything then. Now that we're here, it... actually doesn't feel all that different? I mean, I'm not a different person now than I was yesterday, nor will I be a different person tomorrow morning after I take my first dose. It feels like just another tiny step in the quintillion or so tiny steps that make up this process. Still, I did tell myself this would be the point I'd make the post, and if I don't do it now, then when will I? The alternative is to just show up at the next Furpocalypse completely unrecognizable and be like, "What, this? Oh, you know. *Shrug*"

That being said, there are some changes I've been warned about that are worth passing along as a warning to the rest of you as well: the unfortunate thing about starting HRT is you basically get to go through puberty all over again, with hormones developing in new and fascinating ways and your mind and body both changing to reflect that. In other words, there is a very strong possibility that sometime over the next 3-6 months I will turn into a moody teenage girl. I'm sorry in advance, I'll do my best, and for all I know I'll be fine and this could be a lot of worrying over nothing. However, I will be quite literally hormonal for a while, until the change levels off again and settles down on the other side, so, uh... we'll see how that part of it goes.

But hey, at least I'm more mature now! I'm better equipped to handle it, and that's the silver lining about getting as late a start as I did. If I'd done this ten years ago then maybe I'd have kept more of my hair and such, yeah, but what a fuckup I was back then + being hormonal all over again probably would have landed me somewhere on the news. Maybe it's better this way.

Tonight I took a bunch of "before" pictures and bought a new pill organizer with AM/PM boxes (that's how you know you're getting old,) and generally tried to make myself as ready as I could be for, uh, something for which you can never truly be ready. However, I've said this before and it's worth repeating: I am lucky to have the best and most wonderful friends in the world at my side, not just for this but for everything. I know I'll be fine, because I know I can survive anything with your help.

I love you all so much that that's one of my middle names now.
comments: 3 squeaks or Squeak?

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Subject:Laura Bow games on GOG
Time:06:28 pm
I keep forgetting to mention this. Thanks to xyzzysqrl alerting me to it.

GOG now has both Laura Bow Games--The Colonel's Bequest and The Dagger of Amon Ra--for $5.99 each. There's even a bundle link so you can get them together for $11.98, which is a whopping $0.00 savings but it saves you from having to follow two different links to add them both to your cart I guess. *Fwee*

You may recall I semi-recently completed an LP of Amon Ra after having worked on it since what feels like about fifty years before the game was even actually made. The game was abandonware at that point, so I just took it from some abandonware site. The LP itself makes numerous jokes about this, mostly about how the copy protection was altered to accept literally any answer I picked as correct.

However, if there's one consistent theme I've always tried to emphasize in all of our Team Hatoful videos, I always advocate for supporting the official release. The only reason I didn't when doing my Amon Ra LP is because there wasn't one at the time, but now there is. In fact, I went and purchased both games from GOG--not because I'm particularly inclined to replay Amon Ra or start Colonel's Bequest anytime soon, but because I'd be a massive hypocrite for not giving them my money after having played and derived entertainment from their games.

I'm not going to guilt trip you beyond just this one LJ post, but I do have to say it at least once: Please consider doing the same. Even if you thought Amon Ra was a garbage fire and you enjoyed my LP because I was making fun of it or something (which would be... unfortunate; I mellowed out over the years and really tried to curb that later on,) the fact remains that they made a product, we derived entertainment from that product, and therefore we should support the official release.

We should always support the official release.

I also edited the index entry in the LP with a condensed version of this sentiment. I will not be changing the actual copy protection jokes, because 1) the preface explaining the context they were in is probably enough, 2) going back and editing all those entries feels like work and I thought I was finally done with Amon Ra, and 3) they were funny. So yeah, I'm just gonna leave those as-is. But I do have to mention this.

Edit: Oh, also, I forgot to mention, but like many GOG releases, these have feelies included as well! Like, decent-quality scans of the instruction manual and hint/companion book everything! The hintbook even contains an ARG about trying to identify the "Sierra Killer" who murdered the entire Amon Ra design team, though I don't need to dig for clues and solve crosswords and word jumbles to figure it was probably davidn.
comments: 3 squeaks or Squeak?

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Subject:FF7: Reeve is a furry
Time:07:03 pm
xyzzysqrl and I cracked the code.

And yes I know everyone who played FF7 knows that but you don't know just how deep it goes.

Allow us to walk you through this.Collapse )
comments: 4 squeaks or Squeak?

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Subject:Game writeups
Time:11:20 am
I have decided to blatantly steal xyzzysqrl's penchant for doing quick little writeups every time I either beat a game or decide to abandon it. Don't expect a sudden flood of content, though--she can get through roughly 50 games a year, and I'll consider myself lucky if I can do half that many in my entire natural lifetime. Hell, one of the points in my last New Year's recap was that I've made peace with the fact that my backlog is unconquerable and there will always be games, so I'm just going to follow whatever I have a random whim to play and try not to worry about it so much. Still, I figured it might be fun to post a little something whenever I do happen to finish something, and I mean it's not like either this journal or teogames (where I'll be posting these) was drowning in updates anyway.

So, yeah, head over to teogames if you want xyzzysqrl-like recaps on stuff I finish/abandon, I guess! My first entry should already be there by the time you're reading this (if not, keep refreshing) and you can expect the next one... I don't know, maybe sometime next year.
comments: 2 squeaks or Squeak?

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Subject:2016 in review: Well, that was a thing.
Time:11:58 pm
The year is drawing to a close, and so here we are once again, looking back in reflection. Brace yourselves; I have a lot to cover.

Read more...Collapse )
comments: 2 squeaks or Squeak?

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Subject:Election morning
Time:08:17 am
So, uh, last night was kind of a rough night for me.

heavy stuffCollapse )
comments: 5 squeaks or Squeak?

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Subject:#zap gender
Time:01:32 pm
(That was a reference to a ZZT command, not to Twitter hashtags. You kids with your insta-whatsits, back in my day, etc.)

long and also contains some photos of my chest after being hit with a laserCollapse )
comments: 8 squeaks or Squeak?

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Subject:To the Moon
Time:01:44 pm
Almost two years ago, birdlooke or Elijah (who at the time was still Bird), Zoey (who at the time was my girflriend and... you know, there), and me started a project to do a Let's Play of Freebird Games' To the Moon. Getting all three of us available and together and willing to record at the same time proved impossible, and the project languished. Then Zoey left.

Elijah and I recently decided to revisit this project on our own. I wanted to clear it off my to-do projects list (which is... immense,) I was still curious about this game I'd heard was really good but never played beyond that first session, and maybe on some level I just wanted to get a little closure by tying up a loose end from the Zoey era.

Anyway, Elijah and I finished up the game and I just posted the final episode of it this morning, and all I can say is wow. What a beautiful, phenomenal game. If I haven't already established myself as the biggest crybaby of Team Hatoful, breaking down during the emotional scenes like tears are my damned catchphrase, I probably will after this and after davidn finishes posting our Undertale sessions.

Here, then, is To the Moon played by Kjorteo and Elijah of Team Hatoful.

Does this leave me with more free time now that one of my big long-term projects is actually done? Well... no, because now we're hooked into the fandom and we of course have to check into the side content and sequels and all that. But those are at least new projects, not me being haunted by an unfinished relic from a different time in my life. I'm proud of what we've done here. I feel good about this. Those are good tears.
comments: 2 squeaks or Squeak?

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Subject:Year in review: careers, relationships, genders, and more
Time:03:25 am
How was the year 2015 for you -- what was the most important thing that happened to you this year? With 2016 about to dawn on us, what things are you looking forward to (or dreading) the most about the new year? If you make resolutions at this time of year, how good are you at keeping them as time goes by?
Haha, I was just about to make a long year-end recap post anyway, but now I can do it in the form of an answer to this prompt.

*ahem*

The year is drawing to a close, so I suppose it's time to reflect on it. 2015 has been eventful, that's for sure. Here's a recap complete with out-of-context Undertale dialogue. And maybe some out-of-context Undertale background music to go with it.

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comments: Squeak?

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Subject:Thank you
Time:09:21 pm
I just wanted to make this update to say 1) I'm okay and 2) that is entirely thanks to you. I have amazing friends. Thanks to your support, I'm already much closer to being okay than I ever expected to be mere days after the breakup, whereas I'm pretty sure I'd have been lost entirely without your support.

My internal reactions to all of this have been... strange, definitely not what I would have expected from what one of my friends brilliantly termed "Hollywood Heartbreak." I've been up and down, in and out, on and off, cycling through emotions so quickly that I was honestly surprising myself with the chaos of it all. Like, I'd be completely 100% fine, feeling actually kind of good about everything if that can be believed, then out of absolutely nowhere some random memory would blindside me and suddenly I have my face buried in my hands having a complete all-out gross sobbing meltdown... for about thirty seconds. Then I'd be completely fine again. The day of the breakup itself, I want to say that happened three times, but I was okay other than that even that night.

Also--and I know how bad this is going to sound, like it's insensitive or thoughtless or missing the point of it all or something, but I swear that's not the case (I think the crying should be proof enough that I care about all this), but--throughout this whole thing I've been horny, like, even by my standards. I didn't choose that reaction; it just sort of happened. Maybe it's the "drown my sorrows" instincts redirecting themselves to the one vice I actually have? (I mean, I don't even touch caffeine at all, let alone alcohol/tobacco, let alone drugs, but oh my God am I a filthy depraved sewer rat.)

Before the breakup happened, there was some idle "too bad this won't happen but hey fun to pretend I guess" musing between me and a certain friend of mine about possibly hooking up for a "crash at my place for a few days, with benefits" arrangement that got scuttled because, you know, I was taken. On my way to catch the bus home after work on the first day (this would have been about twenty minutes after I got the email and found out it was over,) as I was walking, my first reaction was, "Oh, hey, I guess that whole thing can happen now. :D" Then my second reaction was, "Oh my God that's a horrible thing to say, I just lost the love of my life, that's not how I'm supposed to react." Then my third reaction was one of those quick unbidden random crying fits. Just, you know, to give you some idea how all over the place I've been with all this.

My work offers up to 7 sessions per bad-thing-that-happened of counseling as a company benefit, so I'm going to check into that just to see if it helps me get all this sorted out. If it's a positive environment and it helps, awesome! If it's terrible and I hate it, then, I mean, it's not like I'm out anything for having tried. So, we'll see how that goes.

I'm sorry for sounding so harsh with the "I don't want to talk about it" vibe in my last post. Honestly, that was mostly just to keep the riff-raff out. I still maintain that I have better things to do than relive the tragedy by explaining what happened to every single random follower I don't really know all that well but who happens to be curious. Plus, I mean, Zoey deserves her privacy, I mean come on. However, if you are an actual good friend of mine, then it's okay! I've already been talking about all this with a few of you who know who you are, and again, I'm a lot closer to being okay again than I would have been without your help. Thank you.

As for Zoey, what I said before is still true. I definitely want to talk to her again. I don't want to lose her from my life entirely. Hell, I miss talking to her even now, and (unless she feels differently, which I would totally understand and respect by the way) I really want to hang out with her and watch anime and all that silly fun stuff we used to do. It is still my goal to get this sorted out and then return better than ever. Two days after this whole thing happened is still a bit soon, though, you know? I mean, I haven't even had my first counseling session yet, and I had another one of those short random cries this morning (after having been completely fine with no incidents at all yesterday.) Something tells me I'm probably not ready yet, and I don't want either of us to rush into things that we're not equipped to handle (that's sort of what caused this mess in the first place.) But I guess I'm just putting all this out there because... well, if Zoey happens to see this, I want her to know that I'm not abandoning her, that I'm just working on getting myself together too and that I'll come back someday, at least if she wants me to. Only when we're both ready, though. At this point I think it's clear that focusing on our recovery and mental health and well-being should come first for both of us.
comments: 6 squeaks or Squeak?

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Subject:Relationship update
Time:05:52 pm
Zoey and I broke up.

Ultimately no one was at fault; it was just one of those things. It was amicable, though the "we're still friends" part will have to wait until I'm a little stronger--right now seeing her name in just about any context hurts too much. Maybe someday.

I'll be okay. I neither need nor particularly want to talk about it. I'm just getting this news update out of the way as a sort of preemptive minimization tactic, since the only thing more fun than going through a tragedy is reliving it every single time someone who missed the memo asks me how Zoey's doing.
comments: 2 squeaks or Squeak?

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Subject:Answer for question 4495.
Time:02:08 am
How do you define "true love"? Have you ever been in love? If you're currently with someone you love, how's the relationship going?
https://www.weasyl.com/submission/1011826/time-to-cuddle-by-owlette
comments: 1 squeak or Squeak?

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Subject:A writer's lament
Time:08:06 pm
Things I have done so far while editing this particular scene in chapter four of my novel:

[X] Went back and added a date system so every scene up to this point can have actual dates
[X] Went back to my overall timeline and finally fixed the “Oops, if you do the math here then it turns out my medical researcher graduated with her degree at age 37″ bug
[X] Went back and revised and re-added a scene to chapter one that had previously been cut
[X] Went back and changed the pronouns for the character I just retconned to being trans for every scene she‘s been in up to the current point (except the ones in chapter two because the narrator of chapter two is supposed to be a callous insensitive jerk and just thoughtlessly carelessly misgendering her is totally something he would do)
[X] Went back and edited that part way back when they’re first laying out the plan for this entire journey to set up a certain geographical feature there so I can totally take advantage of it later on when I actually get to that point
[X] Changed my mind about an unnecessary honorific a certain character uses for a certain other character; went back and changed every instance of it in the novel up to the current point
[X] Made about a million notes for ideas for things to implement in the later chapters once I get to that point
[  ] Actually worked on this particular scene in chapter four of my novel

WRITING.
comments: Squeak?

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Subject:Kjorteo Plays: Teo's ROM Roundup
Time:04:35 pm


I have a fairly ambitious (by my standards) video project in the works, but it's been delayed for ages because I can't figure out Lightworks. It's almost Linux-like in that it's an amazingly powerful marvel of freeware engineering and you can do just about anything with it, but only if you have an advanced degree. So, having stalled out on that for the time being, and run into too many availability issues with projects involving multiple participants (To the Moon, etc.,) I decided I wanted to do some quick random little one-off. This is an almost "Hello World"-level thing made half to test out my trial of PowerDirector and half just to prove that yes I'm still alive and make videos sometimes.
comments: 1 squeak or Squeak?

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Subject:Scenes from the bus commute this morning
Time:08:46 pm
Woman sitting next to me: (Says something that sounded to me like the grown-ups from Peanuts because I am hard of hearing. Amazingly enough, this is why I usually wear a hearing aid.)
Me: I'm sorry, what?
Woman: I said, are you aware that you look like Jesus Christ?
Me: I... >_> people have told me that before, yes.
Woman: I mean that as a compliment. You look like Jesus Christ. That is a compliment.
Me: >_> Thank you.

(I try to get back to working on my novel, and eventually become vaguely aware that she is trying to get my attention again. She tries to ask me something and I fail to understand her question no fewer than three times because I am hard of hearing.)

Woman: (Waa waa waaa?)
Me: Hmm?
Woman: (Waa waa waaa?)
Me: I'm sorry, what?
Woman: (Waa waa waaa?)
Me: Um...
Woman: Never mind, I'll figure it out. Thank you!
(She gets off the bus)
Me: ... Okay.
(I get back to working on my novel)
comments: 2 squeaks or Squeak?

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Subject:kjorteo.net
Time:04:26 pm
budgiebin made me a website!
comments: 1 squeak or Squeak?

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Subject:Kjorteo's Spam Cartoons
Time:08:28 pm
A long time ago, there was Spamusement, a site about taking subject lines from spam emails and turning them into cartoons. There was a forum with people making their own, and I participated! For hosting, I kept all of mine in my own LiveJournal scrapbook.

Today, I was talking to birdlooke about something and that somehow came up. I was just going to link him to my scrapbook and be done with it, but it turns out that LiveJournal changed the formatting in a way that completely wrecks the spam cartoon format. (Most heinously, it thumbnails everything, which basically spoils it. The point of a good spam cartoon is that you're supposed to see the subject line first, so that you can then be surprised and amused by the answer to "where is the author going to go with this?")

I realized that these were so old that a lot of my newer friends and loved ones I hadn't yet met at the time might not have seen them! And even those of you who were around back then, maybe you don't remember them? Anyway, I felt it necessary to make this post, wherein I dig up all my old spam cartoons from back when I made them. Some of them are actually still pretty good!
Read more...Collapse )
comments: 8 squeaks or Squeak?

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Subject:The 4fflicted
Time:07:17 am
Hello, everyone! Teo here with an important April 1 update!

Most of you know by now that I've been in the process of revamping/rewriting/overhauling my novel based on feedback from my aunt. Well, the thing is, I haven't been entirely honest with you about that whole project. Believe me, I wanted to, but non-disclosure agreements and such kept me gagged for a while, and I had to release those new parts 1-3 over the months as a sort of cover/smokescreen.

Fortunately, I can finally tell you the real story: I've been in talks with lawyers and agents from 4Kids Entertainment, who are interested in picking up and adapting my novel as a new series! I can't begin to tell you how exciting this is for me.

4Kids has been extremely helpful throughout this entire process, including helping me find professional editors for the necessary changes for the adaptation. Yes, I know, my aunt is already a professional, but these are ... you know, other professionals. Their experience has given me a whole new fresh perspective, and I am very excited with how the new project is coming along!

I can't show you all of it, of course--you'll have to wait for the series debut for that--but here's a little teaser, from the opening scene:

"Where is Keeper Edward?" Scout asked.
"I HAVE BAD NEWS," said Rook, who was literally a robot. "ACCORDING TO MY CIRCUITS, KEEPER EDWARD HAS BEEN SENT TO THE SHADOW REALM."
"The Shadow Realm is a place where you go to prison," Scout explained, even though no one had asked and most of the group knew that already. "Keeper Edward is in prison (and definitely still alive.)"
"Oh, no!" Celine cried out in dismay. "I'm in dismay!"
"Year, boat we should steal stay on hour mission," said Sir Coral. His inflection changed with every word, as if some voice actor had been told 'heavy accent' without any further instruction, and left to improvise his lines as he went.
"That's right," Scout agreed. "If we get to the northern city, we can win the tourament and become the champions, and then we can go home."
"And maybe use the prize money to free Keeper Edward!" Celine exclaimed.
"You're still on about that?" Scout asked.
Suddenly, everyone stopped because they heard a loud crunching sound. They turned and looked, and found it was Girard, who was munching on a bag of delicious chocolate chip cookies.
"Cookies?" he offered, when he saw everyone was looking at him. "They're American."


As you can see, the new opening has this upbeat, peppy energy to it, and does a much better job immediately establishing the group's quest. Changes like these are just a small part of why I'm so excited for this!

I've already asked the help of my good composer friend davidn in coming up with a catchy hip hop/rap number that we could use as the opening title theme, sort of modeled off the excellent job 4Kids did with their famous One Piece opening. Much like the new version of the novel itself, I can't share the full thing with you, but David has allowed me to give you a small teaser of it here. It's really coming along! :)
comments: 3 squeaks or Squeak?

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Subject:Convention planning!
Time:07:07 pm
Brief as-you-know recap of situation to date: normally my friends and I do FurFright/Furpocalypse every year, but this year I can't because my sister is getting married that exact day so I'll need to be there for that instead. We've been looking for where else we could go based on the best-available balance of geographic/time-of-year/etc. availability with the most people, because flying out to the middle of nowhere to go to a convention by myself is no fun.

Update: Geographic location isn't as big a concern for Zoey and me since we can fly, but time of year is since she won't be in the country until maybe September if we can arrange it (and we are trying as hard as we can to arrange it), October if that falls through. The only real conventions (as in, attendance more than like 150 people) that don't come too early for that are Rainfurrest (September 24-27 in Seattle, WA) and Midwest Furfest (December 4-6 in Rosemont, IL). To all my followers, both the usual FF/FP crew and newcomers who haven't come with us before but were maybe considering it someday: how do either of those sound to you?

My personal preference if it can be arranged is Rainfurrest. I've never personally been to either, but reputation leads me to assume that RF is probably a nicer venue in a nicer city. Plus, Rechan (the chief editor of the upcoming Will of the Alpha 2 WHICH MY STORY IS IN) once told me that RF is unofficially "the writer's con," with much more of a writing-inclined audience and panel selection and such. I have no idea if that's true, but it's definitely a way to get me interested in checking it out!

Of course, at the end of the day, it comes down to everyone else's availability. I can have whatever personal preferences I want, but if Zoey can't make it into the country in time for RF, then we're doing MFF. Likewise, whichever ones you can or cannot make may end up influencing this decision, as well.

So, let's figure out where we're going this year!

Also, FurPlanet will be at RF and MFF both, and will be selling WotA2. One of my compensation perks for having contributed to it is that I get a free copy, which I can pick up from the table when I see them at either con. Everyone else should buy a copy to see my story! (EXCEPT YOU birdlooke THIS IS THE KIND OF STORY YOU SHOULDN'T SEE)

Edit:

rfwritingpanels.png

Oh.
comments: 8 squeaks or Squeak?

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