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Subject:FF7: Reeve is a furry
Time:07:03 pm
xyzzysqrl and I cracked the code.

And yes I know everyone who played FF7 knows that but you don't know just how deep it goes.

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 17:35]
(11:30:44 AM) XyzzySqrl: But yeah I sort of love Cait Sith because it's Reeve. And by now everyone knows it's Reeve. Reeve does the Scottish cat voice ANYWAY because he is VERY INVESTED in his Scottish Cat OC. And I just... imagine him slinking over to Red and asking for tips on how to be/act more feline, like inflections and movements. And I imagine Reeve in front of his laptop all night like all wide-eyed and happy that he's getting Professional Cat Instruction from Nanaki. And then I imagine Reeve stumbling into work at noon drinking coffee straight from the machine and people ask him why he's so ragged and he's like "uh... Recon duty."
(11:31:34 AM) Kjorteo Kalante: Oh my God. Cait Sith is Reeve's fursona. I really should have thought of that yet somehow didn't.
(11:32:36 AM) XyzzySqrl: There's a bit in the utterly-hideous and ridiculous Dirge of Cerberus where "Reeve" appears and it turns out to be the Cait Sith robot WEARING A REEVE SUIT.
(11:33:01 AM) XyzzySqrl: This man is invested in his fursona on a level one cannot grasp.
(11:33:05 AM) Kjorteo Kalante: .... Caitception?
(11:33:30 AM) XyzzySqrl: (And the moment the Reeve suit comes off he's right back to the accent even though it is literally him and Vincent and NO ONE ELSE in the room.)

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 17:44]
(You asked me a while ago about a thing we had talking about Reeve I think.)

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 17:52]
... I...

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 17:52]

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 17:53]
I don't think the "furry" label is ENOUGH to describe the Reeve/Cait Sith relationship anymore.

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 17:53]

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 17:53]
I'm not even sure "Otherkin" would be. This is straight up... like....

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 17:54]
I don't care how many more FF7 spinoff games it takes, SOMEDAY Reeve's character arc is going to end with him and Cait Sith lined up for a James Cameron's Avatar-style soul transfer. It will be touching and beautiful.

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 17:56]
In the meantime... good lord. Someone had to have CONSTRUCTED that Reeve Suit, and made the opening just such for the Cait Sith body to fit inside it, and AT NO POINT did ANYONE say "Hey, uh, question."

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 17:57]

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 17:59]
Is that Steve Blum

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 17:59]
I think so.

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:00]
Yes that's 100% Steve Blum.

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:01]
"Azul the Cerulean? Of the Blue Sapphire Sky Blue Happy Happyists?"

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:03]
... Oh God. He is just so HAPPY to be Cait Sith compared to Reeve.

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:03]
"It's a good thing I came out wearing 'Reeve'!"

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:03]

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:03]
Yes. Yes, you did.

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:03]
But like, that suit...

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:04]
"How's the Reeve suit coming along?"
"Proceeding according to plan, sir. We are making an entire robot duplicate in your exact likeness."
"Excellent. Make sure the opening is the right size for me to enter and steer."
"... You mean, for Caith Sith to..?"
"Yes, that's what I said."

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:03]
... new headcanon: Cait Sith is actually Reeve. Like, there is no Reeve.

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:04]
Instead of Cait Sith being a remote-controlled robot operated by Reeve, Reeve is a remote-controlled robot operated by Cait Sith, a literal magic cat who is just fuckin' around.

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:05]
Honestly, this theory makes so much MORE sense than the inverse. Like, I have to headcanon-accept this just because of Occam's Razor let alone anything else.

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:06]
... except the Cait Sith #2 thing but shh

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:07]
The moogles are also robots. ....MAGICAL TELEPORTATION

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:07]
... I don't know.

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:07]
But yeah Reeve is on his own level of fursuiting and roleplay commitment.

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:09]
I want to know who's in charge of the Turks' budget. Like, I picture Rufus at acquisition request meetings like

"And Reeve is asking for a--"
"... Sir?"
"It's Reeve. Just... sure. I don't WANT to know but sure. Whatever he asks, fine, just don't tell me."

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:09]
Reeve isn't even in the turks though.

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:09]
What is he... Urban Development.

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:10]
Shinra Urban Development division.

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:10]
... Urban Development.

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:11]
*Looks at pretty much the entirety of the lower sectors* *looks at Cait Sith* ... I think I know what happened to the budget

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:10]
"Reeve is an architect who designed the Mako Reactors." this explains more and more and more

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:12]
"Urban Planning needs more money." "We have no room in the budget." "Let's cancel the space program." "... WHY do you need more money?" "...working on a new reactor design. Very open-floorplan, Hojo wants to really get people in touch with th--" "You know what, I don't care. Here's a few million from the space program, we'll close Rocket Town."

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:14]
15 minutes later Reeve is on eBay guestimating how many yards of Minky plush-fur fabric it takes to cover a three foot tall robot cat.

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:15]
"Aw crap I got too much of the white. Okay, what's white-furred... MOOGLES."

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:20]
*ends up staring at http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/finalfantasy/images/4/47/CaitSith-ccvii.png/revision/latest?cb=20120702160021 and trying to figure out how it's a robot*

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:21]
"According to Final Fantasy 10th Anniversary Ultimania the crown is an indispensable part of Cait Sith pertaining to Reeve Tuesti's hobby, although the hobby's nature is not specified."

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:21]
.... fffffff every time I take a turn in this rabbit hole I fall deeper down a level

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:23]
... To be far, you would do the same if YOU were in charge of a Shinra division, don't lie.

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:24]
.... I could probably heft him on my shoulders but the megaphone would give me a headache.

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:26]
Also yeah I probably would funnel like the Shinra Electric Sewer Maintaince Division's budget into collecting bubble-gum cards or 1/24th scale soldiers or something.

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:26]
Or constructing your very own Sqrlmog fursona. *Wag*

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:27]
Reeve knows what's up. He's walking around in style now. Again, he was all business in the Reeve suit and then just so DELIGHTED to reveal himself that I half-expected an "Ah, much better" line or something.

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:29]
God yes.
"AFTER FIFTEEN MINUTES I'M FREE that's as long as I can stand to be Reeve anymore."
And Vincent can't even give him shit because hello you slept in a COFFIN you immortal drama-slut.

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:30]
"In Final Fantasy VII it is never specified if Cait Sith is controlling the moogle robot, or if the Shinra Executive Reeve is controlling both himself, but the 10th Anniversary Ultimania states Reeve controls the moogle through Cait Sith's megaphone."

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:31]
Reeve IS Cait Sith. There is no other explanation, NO OTHER EXPLANATION for why they would design two robots and have one guy pulling the strings of one to make it pull the strings of the other.

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:31]
Supposedly Reeve controls Cait Sith with his MIND. I just...

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:33]
I assume that's ... why the crown? Like... Reeve's hobby is... mind control? Self-hypnotism? He ... uses his brainwaves to control Cait Sith, and then Cait Sith uses voice commands to control the moogle. Because... because Reeve can't get an erection unless it's FURRY ROBOTS ALL THE WAY DOWN

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:33]
I am telling you, there is some Avatar nonsense going on here. There HAS to be.

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:35]
... and then you can get the hypnocrown and have Cait Sith mind control monsters for you.

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:35]
Wait "Manipulate" isn't Cait Sith only, I just always use it on him because it seems appropriate/he comes with it.

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:37]
Okay I have officially LOST TRACK of how many levels down we are at this point.

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:37]
I knooooow.

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:38]
http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/finalfantasy/images/a/a3/Red_XIII_2007_version.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20130202100025 Oh, no, wait, there we go. I cracked the case.

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:40]
... what does this mean.

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:40]
(also I am naming the little fucker "Fursona" when I replay FF7.)

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:41]
Reeve IS a goddamn furry. And what's the first thing a goddamn furry does after painstakingly crafting their fursona? Use it to (as their newfound sona) flirt with other goddamn furries.

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:42]

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:42]
He is -snuggling up to Red XIII- -AS CAIT SITH.-

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:42]

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:42]
...I wonder if he gets any tactile sensation out of that at all.

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:42]
Mental link.

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:44]
This is why the crown is hugely important for an unspecified hobby.

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:44]
... *speechless, but approving*

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:44]
I know right.

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:44]
I'm just sitting here like "Reeve you sick BASTARD. Well done. *Salute*"

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:46]
God, look at that smile in that picture. You will never get me to un-accept this headcanon now.

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:46]
... Mostly I'm like... "Okay but moogles in the FF7verse exist in just a few places: Magic summons, arcade games, and plush toys."

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:47]
... Animating a jumbo-sized plush toy is 100% in the domain of furries though.

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:49]
If anything it only strengthens the confirmation on this. Who ELSE would animate a jumbo-sized plush toy.

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:51]
... Welp.

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:52]
This is incredible.

XyzzySqrl, [16.02.17 18:52]
I feel like we made some kind of breakthrough and it is about the dumbest thing.

Celine Kalante, [16.02.17 18:52]
I just want to... post it or... something. The world needs to know.
comments: Squeak? Previous Entry Share

Time:2017-02-18 10:04 am (UTC)
Your logic is simultaneously baffling and flawless. I don't know what to say to this. O_o;
(Reply) (Thread)

Time:2017-02-18 06:37 pm (UTC)
Just say "Sure! That's probably what happened!" and nod and then turn and flee.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

Time:2017-02-20 07:44 am (UTC)
Good call!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

Time:2017-02-19 08:42 pm (UTC)
I think Cait Sith is an independently functioning entity who is going along with Reeve as a way to get inside of Shinra.
(Reply) (Thread)

[icon] FF7: Reeve is a furry - A Kjorteo draws near!
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View:Website (Kjorteo's Domain).